March 19th: Sometimes what we’re grateful for is faraway, hidden in the muck of all our usual thoughts, revealed to us as a suggestion from someone else’s perspective. As I write this sentence I’m reminded of one of my original goals, to offer different perspectives of gratitude, but it didn’t occur to me until just now that the reverse would also be true, that people would also be offering me insight.
This project is not insular. It’s impossible to write about gratitude in a bubble and it’s impossible to confine it to a one-sided written conversation. I must be open to the world around me to tap into the infinite sources of gratitude, and that includes listening to others. I’m 60+ days into this project and gratitude and writing are slowly becoming topics of conversation amongst family and friends. In this case I shared with my husband my recent track record hosting the book club to which I belong. It’s a potluck event occurring every 5 weeks and I’ve hosted once or twice a year for the past 13 years. I shared with him my feeling of guilt over having cancelled, again, for the third time in the last 14 months, and my frustration that hostessing is fast becoming synonymous with family emergency. The first cancellation was shortly after my father became ill, my second was days after my stepmother passed away, and the third most recent was for last night’s meeting.
I signed up for March months ago when the most pressing thing on the calendar was how to spend St. Patrick’s day. I certainly had no idea my husband would be recovering from a severed tendon in is hand or that I would be getting my house ready to host a Celebration of Life. I’m a great multi-tasker and project manager but my husband’s health and honoring a life require a very special kind of attention, the singular attention of love that for me is difficult to achieve with a full plate of other distractions. So I opted to cancel, leading to my guilt and frustration.
My husband suggested another way to think of this cancellation — instead of guilt and frustration think of gratitude, gratitude for belonging to such a wonderful and compassionate group of women who understand and accept that life sometimes gets in the way and gratitude for the women who stepped up at the last minute to host in my place. Hosting is not an easy job so I know the juggling and work that goes into this last minute committment.
So I write today’s post with them in mind. Book club was last night and I just want to say thank you to my book club buddies. Thank you for your generous spirit and for helping me to simplify my life during these challenging unexpected times. And thank you to my husband for bringing what was hidden faraway nearby.
Photo: March’s book cover
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