Favorite Quotes

March 10th:  My journaling prompt this week is to write about a favorite quote.  I have an artsy composition book, one of those books you write essays in for exams only this one is covered in flowers and inspiring words to disguise its intended purpose.  These books are inexpensive and fun and perfect journaling size and mine are filled with a diverse collection of quotes accumulated over the past few years.  There is no shortage of material here.

What is a quote?  According to the dictionary, a group of words from a text or speech where one is not the original author or speaker.  So basically, a subset of someone else’s words that make you feel better.  Quotes are like arsenal making you feel safe and secure in times of doubt, they are a balm soothing a painful wound, they express that which we are unable to express ourselves, they elevate when there’s a need to rise about it all, and they encourage us to expand our boundaries.  Quotes can remind us of what’s beautiful in the world and of the power of ourselves and our universe.

My favorite two quotes are more like steadfast friends:

• Have courage and be kind (from Cinderella)
• Let go or be dragged (a Zen Proverb)

These quotes help me navigate the uncertain, unknown, and often rocky terrain of change; they are sentiments by which I choose to live my life.

Often when I am faced with something unfamiliar and scary, or even familiar and scary, something I know I must do, something I know is the right thing to do but that might provoke conflict or some other undesirable outcome, I breathe and speak these words in my head like a mantra — have courage and be kind.

This quote is a double entendre.  Its obvious meaning is to act courageously and to do so with kindness.  Perhaps you have something important to say to your spouse or child, something that puts you in a vulnerable position.  You have to inform someone who’s working for you that their work does not meet agreed upon expectations.  Someone who has treated you poorly needs to be confronted.  You need to talk with a doctor or nurse or family member about the deteriorating health of a parent.  It’s the first day of new project with a new project team.  Someone is in need of help but you doubt your competency.  Stepping up is the courage part, opening your heart and being patient and compassionate, even with yourself and even under fire, is the kindness part.

But it also takes courage to be kind.  It’s easier to berate yourself than treat yourself the way you would treat a loved one.  It’s easier to let fear run your life or be annoyed at how inconvenienced you are or dwell on the crappy day you’ve had than it is to consider the possibility the person you’re interacting with is experiencing the same set of vulnerable emotions.  It’s easier to take people for granted and be dismissive, condescending or disrespectful than it is to treat someone the way you would like to be treated.  What’s easy does not take courage; what’s hard does, and this quote reminds me that even something as basic as kindness can be hard.

And when I feel like I’m holding onto something too hard, like fear of not being able to control every aspect of a situation, a goal of which is totally ludicrous because out of all the moving parts in a situation there is only one I can control and that is mine, I breathe in the other quote – let go or be dragged.  This quote is usually called on for fear-based thinking or grudges carried around every day in your purse or wallet.  The negative energy of your anger is quicksand pulling you in deeper and deeper; your obstinate fear a deep stinky mucky mud hole that you’re drowning in.  The psyche of the mind prefers the familiar, the sinking and drowning of your soul, even when it’s harmful.  Have courage, be kind to yourself, let go and rise to the top where you can breath and free yourself.

I’ve worked really hard on this , letting go of the way I thought things should be in my relationship with my father and in doing so I discovered gems.  Every day I loosen the reigns on the messages from family and society that don’t see serve me, messages like women should be thin and beautiful and always perfectly made up, women should be seen and not heard, women should be perfect, women should be all things to all people, women should be mothers.  I loosen these reigns because I believe I am only of value offering the world my true self.

These quotes are like friends, offering support and perspective.  They guide me through the turbulent waters of planned and unplanned change occurring in both my personal and professional life.  And it’s always good to tell a friend how much you appreciate them.