The Day is Young

February 23rd: The clarity of January has flown out the window and a little bit of chaos has landed in its place.  I hate when this happens.  Every morning it is a struggle an adventure to define my day.   Hundreds of ideas and suggestions floating through my head, some accompanied by a thought bubble of shame, guilt, or fear —

I should do this because if I don’t I’m (fill in the blank), if I don’t do this now (fill in the blank) will happen, everyone will think I’m (fill in the blank) if I do or don’t do (fill in the blank), I can’t do this because (fill in the blank).

Even now finding a focus is difficult; I interrupted a much needed meditation to write down these words.  I was afraid they might never return to me.  I’m as far away from listening to my intuition as I can be.  I’m vulnerable.  I’m in a place where the voices inside, many of whom do not speak in my best interest, can kindle a coup.

There is much to be grateful for, but what I’d really like to be grateful for is finding peace of mind in such a state.  The day is young.  I breathe deeply and think, it still has a lot of promise.