February 10th: Today I am grateful for the thoughtfulness of my sister-in-law. Yesterday, out of the blue, she sent photos and a nice email regarding an Apple tree that we had planted in her yard last October. Two trees were actually planted, one in honor of my Dad and one in honor of my stepmother, both of whom passed away in 2016.
The more I work on this gratitude project the more I realize its value as grief therapy. So many loved ones lost in 2016 and while writing won’t bring them back, it helps me to remember and keep them close to my heart. By honoring my life I honor theirs because I am a part of them and they are a part of me.
So back to the Apple tree, my sister-in-law, and her email. Keep in mind it’s Winter here right now.
This is Betty’s tree, she writes. It is loaded with blossoms. It is the only thing blooming in the garden right now. It has been trying to bloom all winter, right through the frosts. She makes me smile…I thought you’d enjoy her enthusiasm.
My stepmother was cursed with a body that didn’t seem to want to work with or for her. For most of her life she struggled with good health and in the last few years was in a lot of pain and unable to drive. Yet she got up every morning and dressed as if she was going out. She frequently bounced back from hospital stays that most people would not recover from. She was tenacious and just wouldn’t let go of life. And here we have an Apple tree, with a few of her ashes scattered around its roots, fighting to bloom and bear fruit when all others are dormant and barren.
I never quite knew where I stood with my stepmother. Her behavior towards me was often contradicted in the gossip of others. Now there will be no more interaction, no more gossip. It is here I have to make a choice. I choose to believe the best and to remember her with love. I look upon this tree with fondness and remembrance. I am grateful for my sister-in-law because in her note there is a similar desire, a desire to honor a life. I feel comforted and connected by my sister-in-law’s desire to share this with me.
Photo taken by my sister-in-law
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