Dear Friend,
One last note before I put my computer away for the weekend. Our recent conversation about saying goodbye to loved ones brought to mind the person I referenced in my recent blog post, the one about the love of letter writing.
The friend who I exchanged 100’s of letters with passed away several years ago, but his Facebook page was never removed and today it notified me of his 91st birthday.
How strange it is to have Facebook remind me to wish someone who is no longer here a happy birthday. Even stranger still that people continue to write on my friend’s Facebook page. This phenomena must not be uncommon because I have another deceased friend who also has an active Facebook page.
I confess it’s comforting to have a place to go and say hey, I’m thinking of you; to have a place to share something of my life with someone who cared about me. I’m moved to read what others have written. Their words are evidence that we are not forgotten, that we continue to matter in the lives of others even after we’re gone.
I guess it’s similar to visiting a gravesite. But maybe not. With Facebook you’re part of a community, a group of friends and family who collectively keep a loved one’s memory alive. In that way we’re not only connected to him, we’re connected to each other.
I’m not sure I believe we go anywhere after we die, other than in the ground. We become part of nature, absorbed by Mother Earth. That’s what I tell myself anyway. But maybe subconsciously I believe there is a heaven, or an afterlife, because I wrote a birthday post as if it would be read by him.
Happy Birthday, my friend. Missing you here on earth. You would be pleased about the direction my life has taken this past year. I mentioned you in a blog post the other day. It was about the love of letter writing. I miss our correspondence. Sending hugs to wherever this may find you.
I Am,
Your friend
7 comments
Ditto.
This is a lovely post. I ,also,have friends and family that have passed away and have active Facebook pages. Friends and family do visit and posts their feelings on the pages. I agree that it is comforting to read remarks and remember them. I believe their spirit/ soul does exit after death. Thank you for sharing.
Lauran This is such a lovely post. The black & white photo is gorgeous! I love that the bundle of letters are tied with a butterfly ribbon. What a treasure to have all those hand written letters. I never knew or thought about a Facebook page existing after someone passes. It seems to me it would be a comforting thing in a way to be able to go there & see pics, thoughts and post something. I really like the format of a letter that you used for your post. Beautiful work, looking forward to your next post.
I love this!
What a lovely and thoughtful post! I love letter writing a great deal, both the writing and the receiving. You are so blessed to have had a committed ‘pen pal’. I’ve not yet had this Facebook experience, but I can imagine the the odd comfort that you write about. Thank you for sharing…as always!
I have a few friends who have died that have Facebook pages that are still in the Facebook community and I find comfort in them. I can look at pictures and smile , acknowledge my loss, sit with my grief for a moment and then move on. Their stories mattered to me.
That was beautiful Lauran. It is comforting when we realize how long it has been since a loved one passed and how close they still feel. I think many of us struggle with the “details” of our release from this life.